A couple of weeks ago, match.com columnist Whitney Casey told Howard Stern that Rocco Dispirito has a perfect penis - and also that it looks like the statue of David (coincidentally, after an accident at a kebab stand in New Delhi, mine now looks like Edvard Munch’s “The Scream”).
As such, I’d like to informally challenge Mr. Dispirito to a dick-measuring-contest of a literal kind; a “Co(ck)mpetition”, to quote the Old Testament.
Lest you be wary, this clash of the titans need not bog itself down with silly numbers - aesthetic’s gotta count for something, right? (I’m already getting decal work done on my taint so don’t even think about it). I figure we should also throw in a talent portion sponsored by the Glad family of products for good measurepunintended.
And so my wildly enthusiastic friend, the heat is on.
FYI I’m repping Team Buitoni*
*not confirmed or factually actual
